“I go into town and deal with people, I get a pony, that’s how this works,” I told my spouse on the way into town one day. Normally I go into town alone, but we were going to look for tomato plants for his “tomato fortress” (A raised table surrounded with wire to protect his cherry tomato plants. Plus he’s a tall guy so this keeps him from having to work close to the ground.) and so he was riding with me. My spouse, knowing me (and knowing my model horse collection) just shrugged and said, “okay.”
Sure enough, when we went to the feed store, we started in the green house where we found some grape tomato plants (and one yellow small tomato plant) that were left this late in the season, and then I went to get what I needed and I ducked into the model horse aisle. I took my time choosing a Unicorn Blind Grab Bag, which contains a random stablemates-size (about 4″ tall) Breyer unicorn. Since I already have some of them, I wanted to make sure I got a “new to me” unicorn, and it turns out I did.
I try not to talk too much about my disabilities, but something I realized as a very late diagnosed AuDHD (autism + ADHD) individual is that going into town exhausts me. I used to wear wireless ear buds, but the brand I had kept falling out (Lenovo) and I feel super self-conscious walking into a store with my over-the-ear headphones on. I’d listen to one of the too many podcasts I subscribe to (mostly on writing or equestrian topics), and that would help me tune out the rush of people and the din of noise that accompanies any visit to the store. But since I started doing curbside pick up at Walmart, and the grocery store I shop at, Aldi’s, doesn’t play music overhead, so I’ve tended to not wear headphones when shopping. Going into town brings other stress related to my cPTSD from things that have happened in my past, so yeah, let’s just say if I have to leave the comfort and safety of my homestead, I deserve a pony, and thankfully the small plastic ones fit on my shelf and don’t need fed.
I’ve just about gotten all of this year’s blind bags, so we’ll have to find another way to reward myself when I go into town. I’ll probably go back to buying horse treats, but don’t worry, they’re not going without at the moment either.
